posted by Victor & Freda on Feb 22
Have you ever been irritated because your spouse to do things differently from you? Does it bother you if he has different opinions and makes different choices than you would? If so, facing some problems on their own personal control and active in their marriage. Here are three important points to consider:
1. Underlying the fear of control problems.
Control problems led to problems in many marriages. Feelings you experience at times can be very intense and may include anger of others. Most people feel more secure when others around them reflect the opinions, beliefs and choices. Security needs and fears of others contribute to their desire to be like you. The old adage, “There is safety in numbers” refers to a primitive fear alone.
In addition, many people feel more in control when you can predict the behavior of others and when others meet expectations. Then they do not have impaired growth, change or stretching. Instead, you can pretend that the world you are logical, orderly, predictable and safe.
2. The thought her husband should be like you ruin your marriage.
His control problems have also skyrocketed to see your partner as an extension of yourself. This perception can lead to try to dictate what your husband wear clothing, how her hair, she is a friend, what political views they have, and what you can or can not do. While her husband at first might make some changes to try to keep the peace, to create a dynamic between parents and children in their relationships that eventually lead to rebellion and resentment.
3. Using a nickname is an insult and an attempt to regain control.
Although there is no sinister involved in issues of control of many relationships, pathological behavior can be triggered in some cases. For example, couples who are angry that the couple did not follow the commands that can be abused physically and emotionally. The couple may think you have the right to “punish” others. Disparaging and humiliating insults such as “Nonsense,” has been used to re-establish control over others.
It’s easy to accuse her husband and said he had changed. It is hard to overcome their own problems unresolved in the head and is responsible for what has changed. As you become more aware of control issues in their marriage, the starting point for change is always with you and your response to what happened.